I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
