after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I am one with the molecules
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
