its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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