Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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