i barfeds in our rink
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Congratulations! We have a period
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
