You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
