he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
