He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
