Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
