btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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