did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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