idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I need water and some morals
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize