When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
