I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
