Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize