I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Even my vagina gasped.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
