i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
