I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
