chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
