Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Randomize
