I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
