ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
