Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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