dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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