Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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