Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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