I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
