I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
