I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
