if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
