i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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