am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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