...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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