He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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