so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
