Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
