she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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