The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
