OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
