i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you would pick up someone in the library
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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