no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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