at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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