Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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