I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
