Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
