Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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