i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
