he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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