Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
