Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
