It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize