And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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