He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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