im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So much rum. So many feels.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
