You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize