She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
