umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
