Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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