a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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