We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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