and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
